Principle 3: Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want

To convince someone to do something, we have to frame it in terms of what motivates them. And in order to do that, we have to be able to see things from their point of view as well as our own.

To inspire an "eager want" in someone, you need to first think from his perspective and put his needs before your own.

Henry Ford: "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

Talk about what they want and explicitly explain how your suggestions will accomplish their goals. Try to enjoy the feeling of unselfishly trying to serve others without any recourse to yourself.

William Winter: "Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature." Therefore, help others develop the idea you want them to have and agree with.

Practice Principle 3

Next time you want to persuade someone to do something, before you speak, pause and ask yourself, "How can I make this person want to do it? How can I frame this in terms of her wants?"

When you're writing an email that contains a request, try replacing "I" and "my" with "you" and "your" as much as possible. Craft your language to make it about them.