Principle 19: Appeal to Nobler Motives

According to J. Pierpont Morgan, people typically have two reasons for doing anything: their real reason (which only they will know), and a reason that sounds good. Appeal to the latter, and show how your suggestion will fulfill the nobler cause. This is built on the assumption that, if you treat people as if they are upright, fair, and honest, most of them will act accordingly.

Most people are honest and want to fulfill their obligations. In most cases, people will react favorably if we make them feel that we consider them honest, upright, and fair.

Practice Principle 19

When you're trying to convince someone to do something, start by thinking of a few positive traits that that person tries hard to embody (or conversely, would be ashamed to be told he does not have).

For example, most people aim to be responsible, fair, wise, and diligent. Work these ideas in when you mention to your son that you know he's extremely responsible about his chores, so you were surprised to see that he didn't make his bed this morning or when you tell your boss that you respect his fairness when it comes to deciding who deserves a promotion.